Part 2: Here’s Donny!

Update 2: Here’s Donny!



Time to get this show on the rural dirt road. Sadly, this update is mostly tutorial and (dull) exposition. But I whack a thing with a hoe so look forward to that.



I mean, after this save screen. You get 2 saves in Rune Factory. You might want to have a back up, because there is a game breaking, save corrupting bug in this game.

I’m not making a great first impression here.







Our hero wanders into view.





He’s not feeling so hot.



Well, so much for that main character. Anyone have any backup names?




Thankfully, “girl” emerges from that nearby hut.



At least she’s having fun.



: Ooh, that’s not healthy! Hold on a sec.



She reenters and leaves the house.





Verge of starvation, but still healthy enough for a practice swing!





: Oh, right. Water! Okay, wait just one moment.







Don’t just pour that shit on the ground! (I will do this probably 200 times in the game)

: Uh...actually, I meant some drinking water.

: Oh! Here you go, bread and water!




There’s an eating sound effect to distract you from them not putting a bread sprite here.




: Oh, it’s nothing! Say, you’re not from this town, are you? Are you on a trip or something?


: Well… to be honest… I don’t really know myself.


: What do you mean you don’t know?


: I don’t remember where I was before coming here. I don’t even know who I am…




I know you all love this plot point.

: Maybe…

: Do you remember your name?


: No…

: Well, everyone needs a name.

: That’s true.

: Why don’t you pick one right now?







That’s a dumb name. When I was younger I remember just taking off the last two letters and naming this man after a pasta sauce.



I will never escape Fire Emblem. The shadow of Wyverns hants me to this day.



HERE’S DONNY

: You do? Thanks. What’s your name, by the way?





Something about a desert and some weird dragon cult or some shit. (YOU BROUGHT THESE JOKES ON YOURSELVES)

: I’m trying to find an inhabited town… I haven’t thought past that part yet.


: In that case, I have an empty house and field that you can use.

The timeshare market is soaring in Kardia.


: I… I don’t know what to say… But no, I couldn’t possibly…

: Don’t be silly! I’m not using them anyway. Besides, I meant what I said before. I think you look like a farmer!

: Do you really think I have what it takes to work a farm?

: Um...well...I think you have talent!

We are going to starve.

: Okay…







And we finally hit gameplay! So, the HP bar should be pretty self explanatory. RP (Rune Points) is sort of a Stamina Meter, performing any action consumes that. We can set the B and X buttons to various things, which is why they’re down there.



Exploring our start menu, we can check our stats and inventory here. None of this really matters yet. But yes, you can use the Hoe as a weapon.



You can also use the watering can. And it’s elemental.




The second tab houses our skills. Donnel sucks at everything.



The third tab means we have no friends.



This will be an overview of our farm, eventually, when it’s not complete garbage.



We can use the fifth tab to track how much garbage we shove in the shipping box.



The sixth tab is a shocking reveal that Mist does not give a shit about us.



And this last one is for key items. We have none yet. Now that that’s out of the way…



Here we are on the farm. It, uh, looks great.



One of her homes. She has two.

: Yeah, but I’m not asking you to let me work on the land here or anything.

: Don’t worry about that. It’s better for me to get all the help I can!


: B...but…

: This is the field. I have not done any work on it for a while, so it’s overgrown.



That’s not normal.



This wolfman in a nice coat represents the specter of gentrification in this poor community.



: What? There’s a monster here! Step back, Mist! You got any kind of weapon?






Combat is pretty wonky in this game. That square on the ground doesn’t really represent where you’re going to hit well, as I whiffed this hit.



Got ‘im that time. The hoe can knock down enemies. You can also charge it up for a stronger hit. A lot of weapons share these properties, less shitty ones.



The soul flies off the screen, and I’ve accidentally made progress tilling this soil. Speedrunners, take note.





: I’m also okay. But I think I killed the monster.

: Oh, no, it’s just fine.

: What?

: Weapons and tools have a kind of magic called “Retornen”!




Screenshot included to prove I didn’t make that up.

: It’s a kind of magic that sends monsters back to their original place.

: Original place?






PETA signs off on Rune Factory.

: Oh really? Well...I’m glad that I didn’t kill it!


: Anyway, I was impressed by you there! Did you learn swordsmanship somewhere?

That was a hoe.

: I may have, but my memory…

: Oh, yeah.



I really like to imagine an awkward pause here.



: Don’t they usually appear above ground?

: There are people called Earthmates who can summon the monsters.



Holy shit Donnel let her finish a single paragraph.





: Really?

: Well, anyway, you saved me! Thank you so much.

: Hey, it’s nothing.

: Donnel, I really owe you for this!

: No, really it was nothing.



I seem to recall that being the arrangement before the monster hoe battle.



Let’s be honest, Donnel is destined to work this shitty field for the rest of his days.



: You’ll work here! I’m so happy.

: But, why are you doing so much for me?

: I’m not really sure...I feel that you have potential.

: Potential?

Solid Snake is getting a run for his money.

: Yeah, I feel that you seem to understand the ways of the earth.

: Is that so?



Actual mental health care is still considered heresy in the world of Rune Factory.

: Oh, really? In that case, I’d be happy to work on the fields for a while.

: Great. Just get out there and get working.

: Okay.





So, all the basic farm tutorials sorta get shoved here. I shortened most of them a little bit, but I’m including them, because the game explains things pretty well. If you don’t want to read them, feel free to scroll down until I say “Mechanics Chat is done now.”

How do you plow the fields?







We’ll need to get all that random shit off the ground before we can start farming here. That means shoving most of it in our pockets.

: Press the B Button to use the hoe. The icon of the item you’re using appears at the bottom right of the screen.


How do you grow vegetables?

: Press the L and B buttons together to change the item you are holding. It’s important to remember you can only sow vegetable seeds in plowed areas. Press the L and B Buttons together to change the item you are holding from a hoe to seeds. Press the B button to sow the seeds.



This is the big important thing. You make sorta 3x3 squares with each seed packet.

: Next, water the seeds with the watering can.



: You can water 12 squares each time you fill the watering can.



(I just wanted to include this shot for the two typos)



This is important.



This is generally good advice in real life too. This update has caused me to collapse twice already.

What are HP and RP?







That’s really all you need to know about this one. Pretty much ANYTHING decreases Rune Points. Run out, and you start using your HP instead. It is easy to watering can yourself to death in this game.





: Why? What would happen to me?

You’d go to the First Forest.



: You recover HP and RP by sleeping in your bed. It’s best to go to bed early if you get tired. Anyway, no matter what you will automatically fall asleep if you are still up at 6am. You can’t work 24 hours!

Mechanics Chat is done now.



Alright, nearly done here.



: Use them to grow some vegetables.



This is actually 9 seeds because of how the planting works. Nice!






Mist, you conceited asshole.



Donnel is only interested in that sweet EXP.

: Wow! How exciting! What a great name!

Mist loves grinding.

: Okay, I’ll be here at lunchtime tomorrow, so ask me then if there’s anything you need to know.



I went ahead and tilled the field in a 3x3 square here. I know there’s an outlier there, but I was just too lazy to also pick up the log. conserving RP!




Take out the seeds.



Do an 80’s victory leap.



And we’ve got us a Radish Square!



As I try to water it I see that Mist only left one charge on the watering can. What an ass.



Time to resupply. (Note how my RP is decreasing fast. It’s pretty limited early on.)



And that’s it for the day. I won’t go into this in such detail in the future, just wanted to show off the basic rotation.



Up north of the field is a whole lot of nothing. For now.



Time to explore our new house.



Well, it’s spacious, at least. The Donnel head on the top screen has also entered the house.



All we really have so far is the aforementioned bed, which ends the day, and the diary.





It saves the game. Not too surprising.

If we check the picture frame…



How long have you been there?



: You can draw what you like on that screenshot here. Apparently the screenshot that you drew on can be exchanged with friends at the strange shell on the beach.

This is a lie, since Nintendo Wi-Fi for the DS has been terminated.


Don’t do this.



Screenshots? That sounds dumb.



Oh, we have this shelf too, but we don’t have anything here yet. Apparently the omniscient text box knows we can fill it up with Ivan, though.



We have a whole town to explore now, but that’s enough for one update. Join us next time while I hunt down a bunch of characters and have to make like 20 more portraits.